What is the most tiring thing for you? For me, when you can't say no. Maybe some of you will say it's not that difficult to say no, but unfortunately we are different type of person. So, I want trying to find the reason why I can't say no. I'm just curious why I can't do what other people easily do, who knows after I post this I can easily say no to everything.
Based on my opinion, the reason people can't say 'no' :
They love pleasing everybody
They love pleasing everybody
When you watch sinetron, have you ever wondered is there exist people like that protagonist in sinetron? You don't watch sinetron? Lucky you! I will describe what kind of protagonist that I'm talking about. That protagonist who is really really a good person, always think positively, always try to please everybody, even the one who act cruel to them. Yeah that one. Never meet that kind of person? Once again you are lucky, because you will feel annoyed if you know that kind of person. Well, not all of them is always positive thinking thought. What I want to point out is try to please everybody. You can't please everybody. That's impossible.
Just because this kind of person want everybody to be happy, they can't reject a request. No matter how simple or how hard it is. Believe me, this kind of person is not always trying to be a saint or trying so hard to go to heaven after life. It becomes a habit without they realize it. You don't read it wrong, a habit. And it's difficult to change your habit overnight, isn't it? Well, I really hate someone like this. And I hate myself for being like this.
They hate the response
Of course, there are some people that express themselves very well. I can't describe it, let me just give an example. Person A is asking whether person B can do something or not and person B says no. Person A will mumble loudly so person A can listen to their mumbling about no one can do their request. If you are the same type as person A, it's really annoying you know? I think it's better to ask "Please help me doing this" instead of "Can you help me doing this?" If you can't accept rejection.
BTW, I'm person B. I hate to listen that "mumbling loudly" so I will say yes unwillingly. It's also a way to prevent world war(?) happen with certain person.
They are thinking too much
You might think this one is funny. Well, I do think this reason is quite funny. This person -- who can't say no -- is thinking too much. Well, of course there will be exist some person who hate us if we say no to whatever they are asking, but there are some of them that don't mind it at all. BUT, this person -- who can't say no -- is thinking, what if this people hate me, what if they would never be my friend again, what if they say bad thing about me, and the other what if question. We can be suspicious even when people we reject say "It's okay". There is small part at our brain thinking they are lying or they only said that because of courtesy. Yeah, the conclusion is this person is thinking too much.
There are good things if we are "this person". Most people will like you. Why most not all? Because there are people who will hate everything you do without a specific reason. They just hate you. Less Drama. Because for some cases saying no is making a ruckus, a chaos, another world war, and every other social disaster(?) that exist in this world.
The bad things? Some evil people will try to take advantage of you. So much. You know it but you can't do much about it. Some people also feels annoyed because of you. Because you can't really express your self well. Another downside is you easily feel tired without any reason. Yeah just without a reason. Well, maybe you DO know the reason but you don't want to realize it.
I'm talking based on my opinion. I'm still "this person" but I'm a little bit better. I think what I need is the will to change and an environment that can help me.
Do you have another opinion about this? Let me know in the comment box below :D
BTW, I'm person B. I hate to listen that "mumbling loudly" so I will say yes unwillingly. It's also a way to prevent world war(?) happen with certain person.
They are thinking too much
You might think this one is funny. Well, I do think this reason is quite funny. This person -- who can't say no -- is thinking too much. Well, of course there will be exist some person who hate us if we say no to whatever they are asking, but there are some of them that don't mind it at all. BUT, this person -- who can't say no -- is thinking, what if this people hate me, what if they would never be my friend again, what if they say bad thing about me, and the other what if question. We can be suspicious even when people we reject say "It's okay". There is small part at our brain thinking they are lying or they only said that because of courtesy. Yeah, the conclusion is this person is thinking too much.
There are good things if we are "this person". Most people will like you. Why most not all? Because there are people who will hate everything you do without a specific reason. They just hate you. Less Drama. Because for some cases saying no is making a ruckus, a chaos, another world war, and every other social disaster(?) that exist in this world.
The bad things? Some evil people will try to take advantage of you. So much. You know it but you can't do much about it. Some people also feels annoyed because of you. Because you can't really express your self well. Another downside is you easily feel tired without any reason. Yeah just without a reason. Well, maybe you DO know the reason but you don't want to realize it.
I'm talking based on my opinion. I'm still "this person" but I'm a little bit better. I think what I need is the will to change and an environment that can help me.
Do you have another opinion about this? Let me know in the comment box below :D
